WITH SELF LOVE X OANH
Thể Oanh pronounced like Tey’One or Oanh ‘ONE’ for short, is an Oracle, Image Consultant & Multidimensional Transformation Coach with an absolute devotion to assisting with transforming the lives of those seeking change for the better. With a challenging childhood, suicidal by the age of 15, her life has taught her invaluable lessons of turning adversity into opportunity and that life is ever-evolving. Oanh helps others shift their own perspective on life to evoke positive feelings within themselves to ultimately perform at their optimum and increase satisfaction. As a now practicing beauty inside & out specialist, Oanh speaks of beauty being not merely on the outside and is on a mission to demonstrate the enormous importance and power of self-love; loving oneself to build confidence and self-esteem. She supports her clients in gaining spiritual clarity, healing old wounds with a forward focused mentality, thus attracting and consciously creating healthy relationships. Oanh has practiced and trained in hair & makeup for over 15 years, her whole life has been an intense Spiritual development journey and she began her Tarot/Oracle card reading practice almost ten years ago. Oanh is a certified Life Coach & Image consultant, she is also a Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner and works with both men and women, using techniques to suit the individual, to find clarity, inner peace and their own core confidence.
“Growing up I had a challenging childhood and I knew nothing about self-love. I despised looking in the mirror and when I did, I picked myself apart from head to toe, I was suicidal at fifteen. By seventeen, right after high school I was on my own, with only twenty dollars to my name, not one single caring adult to guide me and too much pride to ask for help. I did what I knew I could do, which was to take it one day at a time, work hard, and eventually put myself through makeup school and graduating with honors, so I could learn the skills that would allow me to help others look and feel beautiful because I didn’t love my reflection, so I wanted to prevent others from feeling the same way. The best thing that happened for me, having gone through so much hardship, was how much I learned about myself & how much my adversities played a vital role in my Spiritual awakening at a young age.”
What do you believe self-love is?
I believe that self-love is the awareness & willingness to embrace, as well as to accept ourselves as we are. To hold safe space for ourselves to reflect & to devote energy towards ourselves, so we can remain ever evolving. I believe self-love is intrinsic and the catalyst for all that is great in this world.
What are the challenges you face when thinking of self-love?
There are moments in my life when it can be a challenge to think of self-love, like when I’m having a hard day or when I forget to slow down for myself. It’s so easy to get swept into the whirlwinds of our life, going a hundred miles an hour, so when that happens the idea of self-love can seem harder to grasp.
How will you confront these challenges to move towards self-love?
When these challenges arise, the conscious step I take is to slow down & to appreciate the calming effects of taking it easy. It’s in these moments of stillness that I am able to reflect on my life, course correct if needed and deliberately make time to love myself through acts of self-care. In essence, to move towards self-love is to dive deeper within ourselves. From a place of Divine love, I also remind myself that I am exactly where I’m meant to be, and not to compare myself with anyone else because my life experiences have contributed to who I am today & I love myself unconditionally.
Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self love?
When I was younger I really struggled with lack of self-love & suffered in silence. I was full of insecurities and picked myself apart from head to toe, giving myself reasons to despise who I saw in the mirror. I was harsh towards myself but it wasn’t until I had to support and guide myself right out of high school, that I had to snap out of it and start taking care of myself. The path to self-love took several years but that was definitely the beginning of my sacred journey towards unconditional self-love. As hard as it has been, it’s been worth the heartaches because I’m worth it & you are worth it!
As cheesy as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?
Absolutely, it would be a pleasure for me to do so. Starting off strong! It’s vital for you to practice self-unconditional love consistently because it’s not selfish and it’s actually necessary. When you love yourself at a higher level, you set the bar for how others can treat you or love you. Another reason is because you simply deserve to love and be loved, from yourself first. If you deprive yourself of self-love, you subconsciously repel or push away people who want to love you. And trust me, you don’t want to make that sacrifice unknowingly. Self-love will allow you to see your strengths and focus your energy on the qualities that make you a good person. And what we focus on expands. Finally, Self-unconditional love is important because you have the power to positively impact your surroundings and everyone within your energy field & beyond. When others witness you acting on self-love, you give off a signal or permission if you will, for them to love themselves too. The world needs more love so fill yourself up & give from an abundant fountain of Divine love.
When we talk about self-love and understanding we don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships.
What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves?
This is such a valuable question. It’s important to understand the root causes of our self-sabotaging behaviors, and to differentiate them from acts of self-preservation brought on from ptsd or traumatic life events. As hard as it may be to revisit traumas in our life, it may be necessary in order to move forward. When reflecting, it’s imperative to be gentle & compassionate but also to be absolutely honest with yourself as well. Get real & dig deep. I would suggest asking yourself the following questions & writing it out in a journal.
What are the patterns in my life that are causing me pain or suffering?
What hurtful event in my past, may be the root cause of me “acting out” in such a way that is sabotaging my relationships etc?
Do I need to seek professional help, so I can work through my trauma?
What is the common thread I notice, when I get triggered?
Now that I understand the reasons why I feel triggered, how can I interrupt this pattern the next time I begin to feel uneasy?
How can I use my deeper understanding as fuel to propel me forward in life, so I no longer feel or see myself as a victim of my past?
Am I happy & fulfilled?
Do I feel in alignment with my purpose?
Am I arriving in the world as the highest and most authentic me?
Am I living my best life or am I settling for what’s convenient?
Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?
I strongly believe the people we connect with in life, show up to teach us and learn from us. We hold mirrors up for each other, so we can see where we need to grow & to do the inner work. When we let someone into our hearts, and they have the ability to push our buttons & get under our skin, it’s an opportunity for us to understand why we’re feeling upset. Oftentimes it’s due to unresolved issues from our past that are “asking” for attention and resolution.
I was 24 when I got into my first real relationship, it was the first time I fell in love, he was and is an incredible man. We fell in love quickly, moved in together shortly after, our relationship was full of intense passion but the downs were also intense. Being in a serious relationship for the first time in my life absolutely brought up some deeply rooted wounds that weren’t in my conscious mind because I had to sweep my trauma under the rug for survival’ sake prior to our relationship.
As hard as it was to go through, it was one of the most eye-opening times of my life because it made me realize how much the hardships I experienced when I was younger had impacted my life whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not. But it took someone I loved dearly to trigger me, so I can unearth what I had oppressed for so long.
It’s important to deal with our traumas because if we don’t, we’re essentially living with an internal ticking time bomb & when that bomb goes off, you can lose control of your emotions, speech & actions. Which is what happened to me however, from that relationship I learned that I needed to reconnect with my inner child and heal, so I can move forward wiser, feeling lighter, more peaceful, & with a better sense of direction. I am so grateful for my first love who is still in my life today as a dear friend. I know we both helped each other become better lovers & more empathetic towards others.
What favorite book, podcast, or resource for self-psychology, intimacy, self love or relationships? What do you love about it and how did it resonate with you?
I’ve been listening to Matthew Hussey lately who is a relationship coach and talks about intimacy and love life. I find it interesting to hear from a man’s point of view because men and women are wired differently & I appreciate the insight. I find him to be forthcoming about his perspective & I like how he empowers his listeners to do what’s best for them based on what they want in a relationship and not to act of wishful thinking. He offers practical advice & I feel he genuinely cares about helping people attract their love.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…
It would be an honor and my greatest privilege to inspire a movement of unconditional self-love & inner peace. I truly believe that love will deliver us peace & such love must start from self-love, the unconditional love that we were all born with and have the ability to realign with as adults. I would love to see a world where everyone lives with humility, integrity, passion, empathy and is in love, in love with themselves, in love with their life, in love with our planet & all Earthlings thus attracting love, so we can all love, & be loved. Love will always prevail.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?
Life has been my greatest teacher and this is one of my personal quotes that I wrote in my early 20’s, “If you are not evolving you are simply depleting.” I pride myself as an eternal student because I find joy in learning, I have a curious mind that seeks to be fascinated & I love acquiring new skills to create beauty in many forms. The truth is, we live in a Multiverse that is constantly moving, shifting, changing and evolving so if we don’t grow with our surroundings, our energy becomes stagnant which ultimately means you’re slowly losing momentum & energy. Remember beauties, you are Divine, may you let your love flow & graciously move across space and time to touch the hearts of everyone on the planet.